nervous energy - Anita Holzberg

nervous energy
  translates into good poetry
nervous energy
  rehearsals of the mind
     resign themselves in time.
Anita Schiffman Holzberg
Poet of the heart

In Beauty - Anita Holzberg

In beauty
  In candor
    In the nuances
          that make up
             your life
I have been your Mother
   your pain,
      my pain
   your joy,
       my joy
I look at you
  all grown-up
    with a life of your own
       You have made
               your way in this world
  
In peace
 In harmony, I come
    I seek for you
          the very best life
  with your beloved

In words beyond words
 I speak silence
    like acts of kindness
           that I bestow unto thee.
                 dear Emily.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg 

buttons & friend

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Countdown - Anita Holzberg

Countdown
  til the wedding weekend
     2 days
 whirlwind of emotions
     clean the house
          press the clothes
    pack
         run to the store and back
and pack some more
        presents for owen and new granddaughter
            don't forget to clean the steamer
                      streams of consciousness
                 family members of the past emerge
                      my father and mother present
                          I will carry my mother's purse
                                                 wear my aunt's
                                    earrings
                             take a camera for all the events
                                  a portable electric toothbrush
                                          smiles are important
                                             white ones.
                                       on this your wedding day,
                                              dear Em.
Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Out in the Fresh Air

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A Wedding Wand for Anita from Ann !

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Anita poem

In truth
  the ball bounces
     the baby cries
         the leaf falls
               the gardener mows
                     the hours fly
              butter melts
                        so does sky.       

Anita Schiffman Holzberg 

In the Journal of Journals - Anita Holzberg

In the journal of journals
  I write over 30 poems
        sky= high August
             riding out the waves
                   of many months of no waves
                          just plain plain

                  Life is a little about climbing ladders
                        until you reach that big batch of sky.
                                    

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Poem by Anita

I write a piece of music
  Picchu hears it
     She approves
How wonderful to have a cat that approves
  of me
I searched my whole life for approval
And this fer-rel tuxedo cat approves me
   unconditionally
          a few meows here and there
    a bowel of Friskies

                   she is not a fussy cat
                            and she is cool
              sits like Buddha on the rug
                          just chills.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Visions of the Wedding Party - a few days ahead - Anita Holzberg

Visions of the white wedding gown, blue groom men's shirts, black bridesmaid dresses with blue sashes
     I write a piece of music
         the music is in sync with the harmony
                      of the hour
                             Mazel Tov's are in the air
                                       catch them
                                                  everywhere. 

And there was Jewelry... Anita Holzberg

Trying on the jewels


      Spread out they were
              my jewels
                  pearl collar,
                        earrings of silver,
                            a bracelet vintage of rust and gold


                      There they were
                               just asking to be worn


                                my friend Carol came down
                   with her own collection
                                  sparkles and bling in a plastic bag
                                           (just in case)


                    With careful trying on
                                     the jewelry sorted itself out
                                         brass gold tone necklace 
                                                 brass gold tone and silver earrings
                                                              a smoky topaz ring


                                           a Mother of the Bride's statement
                                             for her daughter
                                                 
          For the jewelry maven,
               it does not get any better than this!

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

I Wait - Anita Holzberg

I wait
  whipped cream dreams
     tissue paper wanderings
            ribbons of hope
                     rise
     in the early morning's sunrise 

Fire & Ice - Anita Holzberg

I walk now
  compromised
       its showtime


Fire and Ice
  the ice helps
    the fire rages in my 
          knee and leg


"Family first, "Rachel said


I heed the call.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

    

Wish List - Anita Holzberg

A Wish list
  that stayed in a dresser drawer

        along with my reams of poetry


Now the drawer opens
   happiness
         joy
             bliss


my daughter's wedding
   high on that wish list!

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

So I close the Book - Reflections before the Wedding

So I close the book
   open a door
      feel the cool air streaming


So I close the book
   not look back
       how hard is that?


Expectations can kill


Life lessons learned


   I heard a bird sing
         my Picchu cat came in from the cold
                     Leaves fall in the garden
                             a fountain floats 
                                   paper ships ride by
                                         with notices of promise.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

In The Waking - Anita Holzberg

In the waking
  I make a cup of coffee
      home grown Kona
              I hold the cup care-
                          fully
   as I hold this life
          the glass half-full

                volunteers come to help for the wedding

       the curtain of humanity flows over my shoulder
                 
                    in the waiting
                           dreams filtrate
                                 the stage opens
                                          a bride arrives
                     my daughter the budding flower
                                                    of the hour.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg 

A Poem by Anita

As a writer 
  I take my stance
      buckle up 
           ride the wild ride
                     intensify madness
                           bow to sadness
                               exfoliate the past as the
                                     present dances like silver moons

Was It? - Anita Holzberg

Was it the shitake mushrooms
   sauteed in white onions
or the BV Coastal Estates wine
      or the vanilla cupcakes
          that came after the
 blueberry/tangerine and whipped
              cream dessert?


             Or was it the conversation
                 3 women in their
                       60's, 70's and '80's
                            


                  Gathered  in together
                        3 women ( A German, A Chinese, A Jew)
                                 so different in culture
                                           alike in attitude
                                 the night sings with their conversation
                                              such a sensation!
                                

Seated Here - Anita Holzberg

This poem was first in a film about Aunt Bern's life and love of fashion -




Seated here 
  You in your rose sweater set
Your Bernice smile
   Hair shining


I will remember these moments
  when I poured my heart out to you
   And you listened.


My parents long gone over 20 years
You and Uncle Nate
A gem in my life
Sparkling for all eternity


Uncle Nate
Talking quickly
Hesitating as his mind ahead of his speech
A quick mind and full heart


Coming home
  it's always wonderful
Coming home


Plafskys are warm and fun loving
This is as true as the rose is red
As the sun is up in the sky
As the mountains encompass the horizon


True blue family
Doesn't get any greater than this!

Anita Schiffman Holzberg
At the Plafskys August 17, '11

Small Messages - Anita Holzberg

Instant messages        I hear them all            small voices                  You sat in your wheel chair                         in a group class  I brought the Starbucks        You thanked me            You kissed me goodbye on the lips                     and said               "I love you, too."                        Small messages can make a life              can be the singing forth of a life                     You are on the road to getting well.                   Not a small message. Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Thank You Anita!xx

No,
 the California fog does not encompass me
      the cool weather of summer that never happened
               does not thrill me
Chances are
   I will never have that time again
         where I opened my heart
              and they listened

Life has its ups and downs
  that visit was
    up up and away.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

I Will always Remember - Anita Holzberg

I will always remember
  the den
        the two lounge chairs

I will remember the caregivers from
  Ghana
     bright pretty nurturing women

I will remember you looking at me
    as I walked into the room
            your eyes shining

What is it about New Jersey?
   My culture is here
      I walk back and it is so familiar

My cousin Joanna laughs
  Abe finds her fat free and gluten free

Comments around a glass table
   3 film makers and a poet

I will always remember Uncle Nate's good bye
  His blessing for Emily and our family

I will be more grounded after this visit
  Coming home
          the world opens up
              the day ends
Your faces close to my heart
               for my entire life
A lifetime of loving
               I made the trip to tap into this energy
                             this love.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg 

Bright Faces - Anita Holzberg

Birds fly by
  the incandescent rain
        lightning storm
                  New Jersey
August in New Jersey
      rain and lightning
It held off
  knew that I was going the next day


In the storm
  I faced the unknown fear
       of arriving home
          and everyone would be gone


Not so,
  Aunt Bern and Uncle Nate
      very much there
 The choice words I chose
  flowed like a ribbon
    your face
             that Bernice smile
will light my morning and evening


Uncle Nate your thoughtful comments
   your words after a mind going so strong

            at 94, I saw you and heard you


The lightening storms did not come in the day


   I take my airplane
         it is over
              a visit steeped in loving


                  Your bright faces
                                    your comments
             I will remember.



Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Surprise Elements = Anita Holzberg

Surprise elements
   I was at a table with 3 filmakers
         I was in a movie,
            speaking memories about my Aunt
I sat in the den
   and read my poem
      she held my hand as I was reading it

Touching moments
     Aunt Bern in her teal jacket
        blooming at 90.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Coming Home - Anita Holzberg

There is no pang
  arriving in San Francisco airport
     The shuffle to get off the plane
                a mad surge
   There was and always will be the pang
                 in my heart for New Jersey
After all I am a Jersey girl

            Had my druthers
                  I still be in the Garden State

            Coming home
                      my bed so wonderful
                          little Picchu comes in
                                a neighbor stops by
                             mail and packages
                                     how I love packages
                          the tote bags for the wedding arrived

               Coming home
                        Starbucks coffee
                              and daughter Em speaks
                                          Owen and I have a 15 minute
                                                   conversation
                                          the best ever!

                          Coming home
                                             the seeds of nature are calling
                                                       Sunnyvale
                                            my flowers blooming
                                                 I have walked the walk
                                               I have seen the faces and
                                                              heard their voices
                                            The conversation we had will last
                                                   for all eternity
                                                          I am back
                                               with a richness and blessing for Emily's wedding
                                                         back.

                        Anita Schiffman Holzberg 

                      

Instead - Anita Holzberg

In stead of running
  I walk
    the weight on my shoulders gone

Instead of complaining
  I talk
    my Aunt and Uncle listen

Instead of whinning
  I am at peace

My knee and leg compromised
  I deal
because every minute on this earth is
  precious
    not to squander
      not to complain
        others have it worse.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg
Short Hills, NJ

Nothing Matters - Anita Holzberg

Nothing matters

except blueberries and whipped cream

except home grown tomatoes

and cherry pie

and roasted portabello mushrooms

eggplant to go

cherry off the stem

I have tasted them all

like life I had a real run

keep on running

the poems flow like cream

and sew like silk thread

this is my greatest gift

this is my greatest gift.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

August 13, '11

for Isabelle

ESL At The Sauna - Anita Holzberg

At the sauna 24 hr. Fitness
A woman voiced her opinion
what is different than whole or all
Can you say whole people
whole day busy
Can you use all for the same things?

So difficult to explain
We sat there over 10 minutes
friend in the sauna heat
telling her what is right or wrong
frustrated she left

In the course of that
I remembered how difficult it was to teach
English to adults
I left that and found children twice as easy

In the course of that
the whole sauna helped her

We live in the multi cultural area
this is a multicultural world
even in the sauna.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Small visits - Anita Holzberg

Just another visit

crisp white T shirt

grey pants

sleeping in a wheelchair

in the dining room

Just woke up

eyes sharp as a tack

they always were

A 8 minute visit

ends with a Kiss on the lips

Life is about small visits

a tap in

a tap out

I like to say we are making progress

Jim has come back full circle

there is singing in his face

a joke in his speech

in my heart, also

I have come back too!

This is the greatest Love Story!

Sky Begets Sky - Anita Holzberg

In the scheme of things

sky begets sky

the robin sings twice

once for Emily

once for Jim

I wing to the East coast Monday

all packed

ahead of time

focused,

pain persists like a knife

I wash my hair

the hair is the right

length and color

I cannot contain

my excitement for the wedding

and the bride to be

is doing well, really well.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Nine Lives - Anita Holzberg

Nine lives

If I had nine lives like Picchu

the first life I would address my health

the last life I would live solely for my children

time moves

August 4th

a month from today

I take this time, this morning time to reflect

on mothering

I do not always know what it is about

I do it well

this I know.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

In the Scheme of Things - Anita Holzberg

In the scheme of things

wedding plans refine themselves

the time is approaching

the bride is more beautiful than imagined

her brightness about the life she leads

comes in

in her every move

kindness is the characteristic

kindness flows like the river right

the river white

comes in in these days

I touch a leaf

I pinch myself a little

this is the bliss

mother and daughter listening to each other

this is what I always wanted

I did want to be involved in this wedding

I am the mother of all mothers

doing what mothers do

standing by

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

The Route of Kindness - Anita Holzberg

If riding the tide

kindness comes in

Jim acknowledges me

puts his hands on my waist

jokes

that glint in his eye

Karl, my professor of water aerobics

hugs me

tells me twice a week

or else all fails

In the scheme of things

love walks in

a vibrant friend from the past

joins me for lunch in

an Italian restaurant

the waiter brings our cappuccinos

and dessert wine for free

the magic between friendship begins again

So many times I have walked this road

never noticing that path towards love

that route of kindness

If bliss is this

I have found it

mold it hold it forever

dreams are made of this

they really are.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Poem by Anita

20 years almost since my divorce

20 years not communicating

Now in the heat of the wedding

Mother and daughter emerge as a team

The goal is to get there

Walking is compromised but better

Walking her down the aisle my greatest motivation..........

Waltzing into 3 weeks to go,

the bride rushes to finish

the mother of the bride rushes too

our goal is the same

we will cross that finish line

together.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg

Life has its amenities - Anita Holzberg

Life has its little upsets and amenities

I walk on ducks' feet

my legs compromised

I must get better for the wedding

for NJ

time is the great healer

time is on my side

and water exercise and physical therapy.

Anita S. Holzberg

Poem by Anita

A tuxedo cat

named Picchu

owns the house

after her daily trips to the yard and back

a fer-rel cat

who learned to love and trust

after 4 years

She walks on angel's feet

her paws touch the ground and carpet and

then some.

Anita Schiffman Holzberg